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The Future Belongs to those who prepare for it today...

February 6, 2014 Student Recipes

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Here, our students have been composing their own interesting recipes


2 snails with shells

4 large pieces of bogey

220g of squirrel saliva

100g of rat droppings

20 strands of monkey hair

400g of dog poo


  1. Fry the snails in their shells in some petrol for 2 mins
  2. Mix together in a bowl, the bogey and squirrel saliva
  3. In a pot, add some water, rat droppings, strands of hair and all the other ingredients.
  4. Cook for 20 mins until the smell makes you want to throw up
  5. After 20 mins, stir in with a dirty wooden spoon the dog poo
  6. Serve with a bowl for throwing up in.



10 cups of dirty pond water

5 Snozzcumbers

3 Packs of slime (300g)

6 rotten  fish heads

3 human brains

6 cups of lizard blood


  1. Cut up the snozzcumbers finely
  2. Add the snozzcumbers to the pondwater
  3. Pour the  slime into the mix
  4. Bake the fish heads in the oven for 360 mins at 1000000C
  5. Slice the brains and add the lizard’s blood, cook for 3 mins in the microwave
  6. Put all the ingredients in a pie dish and cook for 20 mins on a radiator
  7. Serve on a table without a plate.



300g of smelly dog poo

200g of slimy snail wee

100 cat whiskes

99 medium sized dead rats

5 cups of runny glue

10 small mice hearts

6 bear eyes

Preparation Method

  1. Bake the mice hearts for 2 hours at 19oC
  2. Fry the pig snouts in the slimy snail wee for 10 mins
  3. Boil the scary bear eyes and the glue for 20 mins
  4. Mix in a bowl, the smelly dog poo and the cat whiskers
  5. Bake the rats and sprinkle apples on them
  6. Put all the ingredients in a pie dish and cook for 5 mins.



x4 Raspberries

x2 Lemons

x6 pieces of Lamb

x6 smelly mushrooms

x4 Brussel sprouts

x10 bits of mucus

x14 slices of garlic bread


  1. Spread the mucus on the bread
  2. Chop up the raspberries into little pieces and place them on top of the mucus
  3. Squeeze the lemons on top of the lamb and fry until cooked
  4. When the lamb is cooke, cut it into medium pieces and place it on the bread
  5. Crush up the smelly mushrooms and green Brussel sprouts and sprinkle it on to the bread
  6. Serve the sandwich without a plate.



100 pieces of chewed up bubblegum

150 cups of human saliva

24 poisonous black spiders

16 rats eyeballs

4 pots of my urine

5 pots of my stinky mouldy poo

Preparation Method

  1. Mix together the urine and the poo in the bowl
  2. Fry the rats guts for 2 hours then add to the poo mix
  3. Add the saliva and sprinkle on top, the chewed up bubble gum
  4. Deep fry the poisonous black spiders and add to the mix
  5. Put the ingredients in a dish and bake at 15C for 5 mins
  6. Serve the crumble in a dirty broken bowl.



100 strands of cat and dog hairs

10 4cm worms

2 dragon eye balls

117 sheep toe nails

90 cups of dirty smelly mud

14 dead large spiders


  1. Bake the dragon eye balls in the oven for 4 hours at 400C
  2. In a pan, lay the strands of hair with the dead spiders
  3. In a bowl, mix together the mud and sheep toe nails
  4. Fry the worms in fish poo for 10 mins
  5. Mix all the ingredients together in a pie dish
  6. Cook the pie for 5 hours
  7. Serve the pie on a broken picture.



10o grams of pooey goo

8 rotten tomatoes

3 large dead frogs

4 medium grizzly bears

9 mice tails

3 grams of slimy cement


  1. Boil the cement for 24 hours
  2. Chop up the mice tails and boil for 20 mins
  3. Bake the tomatoes for 1 hour at 1000C
  4. Cut up the bears and season them with dirt, dust and rubbish
  5. Boil the dead frogs in a saucepan with the pooey goo for 12 mins
  6. Put all the ingredients together in a pie dish
  7. Bake  for 8 mins at 150C
  8. Serve in a dirty unsuitable dog bowl.



100g of snail slime

90g of dog saliva

4 cups pf rat urine

2 packs of human intestines

3 glasses of cat blood

4 packs of hairy monkey meat


  1. In a saucepan, boil the snail slime and dog saliva for 3 mins
  2. Cook the intestines in the washing machine for 2 hours
  3. Add the rat urine and the cat blood to the saucepan
  4. Cut the monkey meat in to squares and grill for 1 minute
  5. Put all the ingredients into a pie dish and cook in the oven for 4 hours
  6. Serve the pie on a broken television.



10 cups of sticky gooey mud

5 grams of octopus tentacles

15 spoons of beetle juice

500 plops of Judoon’s diarrhoea

10 litres of mouldy orange juice

7 dead decaying horses

2 balls of rotten ken-key


  1. Whisk the beetle juice for 10 minutes
  2. Fry the ken-key in the gooey mud
  3. Chop the horses into medium sized pieces
  4. Bake the diarrhoea at 40000c for 45 minutes
  5. Grill the Octopus tentacles and spray on some petrol sauce
  6. Mix in all the ingredients in a pot and cook from the heat of a light bulb for 96 minutes
  7. Serve on a broken iPad instead of a plate.



7 spider legs

2 cups of smelly snail blood

5 slimy monkey eyeballs

3 rotten tomatoes

2 tablespoons of dog poo

4 slices of mouldy bread

5 cups of decaying mud


  1. Fry the dog poo for 20 mins
  2. Grill one of the eyeballs until it starts to melt
  3. Slice the spider legs into small pieces
  4. Boil the snail blood until it hardens
  5. Add one rotten tomato into a bowl and mix it with 2 cups of mud
  6. Fry the bread in the rest of the mud
  7. Mix all the ingredients into a pan and roast for 32 hours at 225C
  8. Serve in a sock on a dirty dusty floor.



6 cups of snake slime

400g of cat poo

600g of elephant brains

200 lizard eye balls

4 tins of rotten smelly tomatoes

1 mouldy cauliflower

4 big brussel sprouts


  1. Bake the cauliflower for 5 hours at 1605544C
  2. Squash the sprouts in a bowl and mix in the cat poo
  3. Boil the eyeballs for 8 hours and then mix in the tomatoes
  4. Roll the snake slime with a rolling pin
  5. Fry the elephant brains with pepper salt and mouldy milk
  6. Put all the ingredients in a pie dish and bake them for 12 hours at 55670001000C.
  7. Serve on a dirty broken plate


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